persuasive+writing

=Persuasive Writing = =This is my first peice of persuasive writing to judge and work upon to make improvements of my current level 3 marks on this persuasive writing assignment. = Jedi are the best   The Jedi and the sith have raged war for over 300 yrs but the Jedi should have all the luck because the Jedi are more passive and they discovered the force first the sith are just stealers. The Jedi also pass there teachings to the younger members   <span style="COLOR: rgb(179,6,203)"> The Jedi also have a GREAT MILITARY fighters like the arrowhead 386 which is one of the fastest and more agile fighters which was proven over previous battles. The Jedi also have one of the greatest light-sabres in the galaxy. Because the sith steal everything the Jedi do or make. Anyway the Jedi didn’t start the war they are just defending the galaxy. <span style="COLOR: rgb(51,164,219)"><span style="COLOR: rgb(179,6,203)"> <span style="COLOR: rgb(184,72,35)"><span style="COLOR: rgb(179,6,203)"><span style="COLOR: rgb(51,164,219)"> By Bradley

reflection

I had alot of points in the first paragraph and the 2nd paraghraph but I should have explained my points alot more. I should have used more paragraphs and concentrate more on using more different points becuase I reviewed more than 5 times on one piont.

persuasive writing goal

1.Use more pargraphs and even more points on the subject. Also I need to explore different points on the subject.

Parent comment I think its good but I could expand on the text.You know alot about Jedi but could Write alot more about the sith. Overall straight to the point.

__ Video Games Are Good For You __ Don’t you get tired of people saying those games are bad for you. I do and I really wish they would shut up and get on with their life and do something else with there life be3cause it’s not only getting at me its affecting them as well. Because it’s not there problem. In this argument I will explore both sides of the story and prove to them that video games are good for you. I agree with the statement of video games are good for you because they develop your mental awareness because the faster the game is the better your awareness time. They also get you out of the way of angry people and theirs lots of different games for different ages and there is even educational purposes. Also they have Physical games as well like all the eye toy’s and spy toy. Don’t think they use up all your money because on the new ones PS3 and the Xbox 360 because you can download games on to them so you don’t have to by every game you see. As I said the games come for all ages and Educational purposes and sports such as rugby, soccer, tennis, Olympic sports, car racing, and army games. They teach children about what’s out there and what can happen if caught in a dangerous situation but remember that you can be desensitized from real life around the user of the fighting game. I think that games are better than TV because you’re using your mind more and solving puzzles on the game. They also encourage competitiveness I say that because that might just get people out of their houses of their bums and do something active like riding a bike or playing some thing like soccer or rugby and cricket. That’s why I think there good for you and I assure you I have4 more points on that than anyone else my age and I am sure that I am not wrong and I will not settle for any other answer because I am Write all the way through the argument and I hope I have convinced you that video games are very, very, very, very good for you. Why other people think Video games are bad for you and other people. They think their bad for you because you can be desensitized from the real world and keep you away from real life. The other people say that the games and gaming consoles wastes money buying, buying, and buying more and more games and more and more consoles. They all say that it wastes power because people play It all the time and every one that plays it want to get one and that results to more and more powerless and less power to share around to different house’s and places that need lots and lots of power and electricity like the hospital and health equipment for the sick and elderly people. That is my point of view and you should be convinced. By Bradley